Body Confidence After 40

Have you ever seen the movie “The Seven Year Itch”? It stars Marilyn Monroe and in June of 1955 gave viewers more they bargained for.  In a famous scene, Marilyn’s character stands over a Manhattan subway grate in a sexy, white halter dress.  She excitedly says “Ooh do you feel the breeze from the subway?  Isn’t it delicious?” As the subway train passes underneath, a gust of air flows through the grates blowing her skirt up well above her knees showing off a pair of the most beautiful legs I’ve ever seen.  This movie scene cemented an image in my head of the ideal legs.  Legs I’ll never have. Not even at my thinnest have my legs ever come close to Marilyn’s. 

I have always been self-conscience about my legs.  They’ve never been thin enough, long enough, toned enough, tanned enough, fat ankles...the list goes on.  I don’t own one pair of shorts.  It can be well over 100 degrees outside and you’ll find me in capris or a maxi skirt.  I’m not unique to this, I know that every woman deals with insecurities.  In fact, my insecurities don’t stop at my legs but for brevity's sake, I’ll leave it at my there for now. 

Now that I’ve turned forty I wonder when do we women reach the age that we say “screw it”, and just be who we are; be unapologetically us?  I have dresses hanging in my closet begging to be worn yet every time I pull one off the rack my insecurities start kicking in.  Maybe when I get a spray tan, maybe if I wasn’t so curvy, maybe when I lose some weight, & soon maybe turns into never.  The dress goes back onto the rack to gather dust and the tried and true slacks or jeans come off the rack and to the rescue to hide these hideous things I call legs.

Recently though I’ve started to care less about what people think and you should too.  What people “think” about us is simply that, a thought.  We can’t control nor change what people think about us. Sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re wrong.  What a person thinks about us is irrelevant to who we are as women.  If a fellow female is judging you it’s because she can’t focus on her own insecurities if she’s focused on yours. It’s important to also note that sometimes we need to get out of our own heads.  We build up these insecurities and we’re not realizing that most people out there don’t view us in the same way we are viewing ourselves. 

If we really got down to it, I think we’d find that people view us in a more positive way than we think they do. What we see as faults they don’t notice at all.  We’re letting our heads control the image we are projecting into the world.   If you have a lack of confidence in certain areas, remember that so does everyone else.  Men and women both have plenty of insecurities & self-doubt.  Imagine that your standing in a circle chatting with five or so people.  Each and every one of those people including yourself is thinking about themselves.  I hope they don’t notice my teeth; I hope they don’t notice how white my legs are; I hope they can’t see that pimple on my chin;  I hope they don’t notice that I’m wearing the same dress I wore to that party last week. And the internal conversation goes on and on….Do you realize that quite possibly they are all so fixated on their own issues they don’t have time to notice yours?

Today I pulled a dress off the rack and actually wore it.  My husband thinks I look stunning and that’s all that matters.  He’s okay with my large white legs and overly curvy body.  Bottom line is I’ll never be 100% happy with every curve.  I’m only human and will always find fault with some area of my body and so will you.  We’re not perfect, but we must learn to be comfortable in our own skin; with who we are today, at this moment.  If we aren’t comfortable with who we today then when; at 40, 50, 60? 

Next time you’re contemplating what to wear stop beating yourself up and stop caring what the rest of the world will say.  Focus on the things that you like the best about yourself.  Your best attributes. Let those outweigh the others.  Focus on all the things your awesome at; a good sense of humor, a great conversationalist.  Play up the features you feel make you the most attractive. Your eyes, your hair, your curves.  Throw caution to the wind, grab a great handbag or put on a pair of fabulous heels and go out confidently into the world.  If you’re thinking about your best attributes then that will affect your body language, your mood, and the way people see you. 

I may never stand over a Manhattan subway grate, let my dress fly up and show off my legs but dammit, I will wear dresses and be as confident as possible. And here’s a strategy.  If I’m wearing a pair of kick-ass heels they won’t notice my legs anyway! 

Picture is blurry. Overcast day and not good lighting.