How To Deal When People Don’t See Your Potential.

You can’t make a blind man see so it’s likely that you can’t make others see your potential when they don’t.  You must learn to validate yourself and know your worth without the confirmation of others.

Perhaps it’s a close friend, partner, or boss.  It doesn’t matter who it is, or what role they play in your day to day life. If you know you are intelligent, worthy and possess the potential to be great don’t listen to them.  Your worth should come from within, not from other peoples perception of you.

Some people would rather see your light dimmed than to see you shine bright.  They are so insecure in themselves that they choose to try and hold you back. Refusing to give you opportunities, showing no appreciation and surely never validating your worth. Sometimes these people may make you feel completely unimportant and invisible but that doesn’t mean that you are.    

I am no stranger to this phenomenon and I believe it gets worse with time as we age and see younger individuals get the opportunities we crave. We may be over 40 but we still want to better ourselves and not end up complacent and unhappy.  I have this intense desire to do more, be more. Knowing full well that I have not reached my full potential and I have much more to offer but continue to let the perception and thoughts of others spread like cancer in my own mind. This affects my mood,  my happiness and my confidence in myself.

“She’s not good enough, she has no potential, she wouldn’t be good at that. She’s not capable of doing that, she’s too old, she’s too fat, she’s not talented....etc. Any of that sound familiar?  How many times have you known how others perceive you (or think you know) and you begin to believe it too? Again, what others “think” of you DOESN’T MATTER.

Aristotle said, “The only way to avoid criticism is to say nothing, do nothing and be nothing.” But who wants to be that person?  I certainly don’t!  Remember that some bosses, friends and even family members are only looking for “yes men and women.”  If you are someone who likes to take a stand and live life with a point of view, you’re opinionated & confident you’ll hit roadblocks from time to time. These types of people don’t want to be challenged or questioned.  They want to only deal with someone who is like their puppet on a string. Being the strong woman that you are, YOU are challenging the status quo and some people are incapable of dealing with it. So what can you do?

Never diminish who you are.  Recognize your worth and your potential and continue to be unapologetically you.  Try repeating affirmations when people make you feel inadequate. Affirmations such as “I am a confident woman” “I am intelligent and I can do anything I put my mind to.”

Maintain relationships with people who believe in you.  Make a point to spend more quality time with people who build you up not tear you down.  You know who your “real” friends are. They are the ones who try to encourage you to be the best version of yourself you can be.  Surround yourself with positive influences that see your worth and love you for who you are.

Always. Be. Learning.  Take every free moment you have to learn something new.  Read a book, watch a documentary, YouTube tutorial, podcast, lecture, a foreign language, etc.  Learning new things lifts your confidence, spirit, and intellect. Step out of your comfort zone on topics and broaden your horizons.  This will make you more apt to be able to speak with a larger variety of individuals and have the confidence to do it with ease.

Take responsible for your destiny.  Be true to yourself.  Go into the world and into your day knowing that you are the only one who can make things happen.  Stop waiting for others to recognize your potential or give you a chance. Be bold, be brave. Don’t wait for doors to open, build your own house!

Know when it’s time to move on.  There isn’t enough you can do to make people see your value if they don’t want to, but you can’t stick around so long that you let it destroy you.  If you can’t continue to be positive & feel worthy in a negative environment when others are blind to your worth, then you MUST walk away. Change is hard but necessary. People who don’t want you to succeed will lie to you in order to pacify you for the moment only later to do everything in their power to hold you back.  Recognize who those individuals are, and don’t give them power over your life.

“I know what I bring to the table...So trust me when I say I’m not afraid to eat alone.”  Unknown