11 Ways To Unshakeable Confidence Over 40
It’s taken me 42 years so far, and the older I get, the more confident I become. Here’s some of my personal and trusted ways I overcame insecurities and am living a more confident life.
Blessings + Joy
Aleyna
1- Boost Your Knowledge: Take a course. There are many online courses available, many free, and YouTube is an amazing place to start. If you choose to seriously up your game, you can go to places like Skillshare or Shaw Academy and get certified in something you’re interested in. Whatever you choose to learn gives you extra knowledge you didn’t have before, and knowledge equals confidence.
2-Perfect Your Posture: Nothing says “confidence” like a woman with good posture. You will look taller, slimmer, & more self-assured. One of my tricks to help train myself to have better posture is to roll up a bath towel (or use a yoga block) and lay on the floor with the towel (or yoga block) underneath my shoulder blades. With arms stretched to the side, lay there for about 5-10 mins. You’ll feel taller when you get up and your shoulder blades will be in a rolled back position. This is the position they should be the majority of the time. Keeping your shoulders back and your head up high are crucial habits you must create to exude confidence.
3-All About Face (Skincare): Find a good dermatologist and get in the habit of a good skincare routine. Your face is the first thing that people see, and if you’re anything like me, your confidence wavers when you have a zit. The good news is your skin is manageable. A woman with well-groomed hair and nice skin will look elegant, sophisticated and confident.
4-Get Fit: Whether it’s a 30-minute walk, yoga, or pilates getting even 5% fitter and active will make a huge difference in your confidence. Health is the most vital thing in life and when you feel good, you are happier and happiness leads to more confidence.
5-Go To Finishing School: I know this sounds pretentious, but during the height of the pandemic while stuck at home, I participated in a six-week-long online finishing school taught by someone who received her certification at one of the most elite Finishing Schools in the world, Villa Pierrefeu in Switzerland. The course touched on everything from dining etiquette, table settings, personal branding, clothing by body type, image branding, finding your best colors, and mindset among much more. I didn’t come from money and I wanted to understand and emulate behavior and manners at the highest levels of society and feel confident doing it. It was truly one of the best investments I made in myself.
6-Learn To Say “NO”: Saying “no” can give you a spike in confidence. Insecure people tend to say yes to invites and situations that may not serve them. You’ve earned the right to say no to things that use your time and energy in a way, or with people who aren’t serving you.
7-Curate Your Personal Brand: You’re over forty now and you know what you feel good in, and what you don’t. You have a better understanding of who you are and what your style is; and/or what you want it to be. It’s time to go through your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t represent the YOU that makes you confident. Keep only the items that make you feel and look good. If it doesn’t bring you joy, doesn’t fit, can’t be tailored to fit-donate it. If it doesn’t truly represent the YOU that you want the world to see, and doesn’t bring you an extra layer of confidence when you put it on, donate it. If you are someone who is truly stuck on how you want to style yourself, and how to dress for your body type you might consider hiring an Image Consultant.
8-Signature Scent: Find a signature scent that makes you feel like a million bucks. This is an area where I believe you need to splurge. There’s no substitute for quality perfume and people will notice. I personally rotate between 4 signature scents at all times. I only wear Chanel and seriously don’t even entertain smelling other brands. That’s just my personal preference. I wear perfume every single day even when staying home. The act of putting on perfume is so feminine & elegant it makes me feel amazing and confident.
9-Smile: Resting bitch face is a thing and I have it. I’ve worked over the past couple of years to pay attention to my expressions and smile more. Smiling increases your levels of happy neurotransmitters in your brain. It also signals warmth to others and makes you more approachable. When a woman with good posture and a great smile walks into a room everyone knows she brought an abundance of confidence with her.
10-Fresh Flowers by your bed: There is rarely a time I don’t have fresh flowers in my home and always next to my bed. For me, it’s literally a reminder to “stop and smell the roses”. Research shows that those who wake up to fresh flowers experience a mood boost and are happier throughout the day.
11-Practice Gratitude: It’s hard to feel bad about yourself, when you start your day being grateful for all that you have. For added confidence, focus on being grateful for all your positive attributes and accomplishments. This will lift your confidence and put you in a positive frame of mind when it comes to loving yourself. When you give thanks and recognition to the things that make you unique, you will become a more confident version of yourself.
““Happiness is the secret to all beauty; there is no beauty that is attractive without happiness.” ”